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Fr. Joshua Wagner
Archive for January, 2009
The Most Important Stuff…Ever.
On January - 25 - 2009
This Article was Published in the Marion Star January 20th 2009
It seems that there are as many self-help books as there are people, all of them telling us how to live a happy prosperous life. For just $24.95 you can attain riches, fame and fortune, not to mention the happiness that we have all sought after.
I am not saying also there isn’t a lot of good stuff out there to read. Genuine people looking to help other people live out the potential that they have in this life, and to inspire. The problem is, or course, sorting out the bad from the good.
I have met, and am friends with, spiritual people, motivational speakers, and people who have overcome the odds of sickness, poverty, oppression, and abuse. I try to meet as many people like this as I can, because I want to be inspired and likewise inspire people. There are some common things that I have found inspirational people say or – even more importantly – live in their lives. I call them, “The Four Phrases.”
Maybe these folks don’t “say” the “Four Phrases,” but the reason that they are who they are is that they live them. Their actions speak volumes louder than their words.
These are the most important things you can say or do in your life. If you say these to someone every day – even better, if you LIVE them every day – I think you will find your relationships getting better, your attitude will change, and the happiness that we so vainly pursue will simply and easily ensue.
What are the four phrases?
I’m Sorry…
I Forgive you…
I Thank you…
I Love you…
Simple phrases, really. Sometimes though, they are the hardest things that we have to say in our lives, and often, they are even harder to live them out!
Who do we say these things to? Anyone. We say them to our spouses, our children, our colleagues, our families, to God, and even, and here is the kicker, to ourselves. That’s right, ourselves.
Sometimes we have to say that we are sorry for not treating ourselves with dignity.
Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes.
Sometimes we need to say thank-you, and acknowledge the value of our lives, and the good we have done for ourselves and others.
Sometimes we need to change the direction of our lives and do loving things for ourselves.
When I have met inspirational people, all of them have these core principles at the heart of everything that they say and do. That is because these phrases – this philosophy – is essential to mend broken relationships, to find, acknowledge, and appreciate the good in someone’s life, and to choose to do things that will help people to be the best that they can be.
Inspirational people know that they are not done growing yet, and still make mistakes. So they say they are sorry.
They understand that forgiveness is something essential so that they do not harbor and carry resentments.
They understand that a simple spirit of gratitude can help someone to realize the value that they cannot see in themselves.
They know that by even the smallest loving action, they can change the world.
What is happiness? People think it is riches. It isn’t. I know plenty of sad people with gobs of money . Some people say it is fame, I imagine that famous people feel more isolated then regular folks who can go to the grocery store whenever they want. How about power? If you like stress, go for it!
Perhaps it would be presumptuous of me to define happiness, but what the heck, I’ll try anyway! Happiness comes from being in good life-giving relationships with other people, and preserving our own innate dignity. It means being a little better at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day, even if we just grow half an inch. It means being the best that we can be today, helping others to do the same, and forgiving ourselves and others, when we fall short.
Homily 1.25.2009
On January - 25 - 2009
This is the Homily for the Feast of the conversion of St. Paul.
The Audio isn’t perfect because the battery in my microphone is dying! I will have that fixed by next week!
Fr. Wagner
Homily 01.18.2009
On January - 20 - 2009
This is a homily that discusses our the call to bring heaven to earth we received at our baptism.
I am, for the time being, not doing youtube videos for my homilies, because I found a nice player to play them on… so just press play to hear the homilies, or download them with the download button!
Two New Homilies!
On January - 18 - 2009
These are two Homilies from the Feast of the Epiphany and the Baptism of the Lord. Please to enjoy!
Epiphany [7:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
Baptism of the Lord [6:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
Epiphany [7:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Baptism of the Lord [6:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadSetting Boundaries in Your Life
On January - 16 - 2009
Published in the Marion Star, December 12th, 2008
Setting Boundaries in Your Life
I have had the benefit of traveling around the world to different countries, and the first thing I notice about a new place that I go isn’t the new sites or the different food, but usually, how people drive. How people drive tells you a lot about the culture that you are in. For instance, in Italy, the lines on the road are mere suggestions. There isn’t really such a thing as a “lane” of traffic, as you will commonly see civilian, police, and even government officials casually weaving in and out of traffic. Germany (and the United States) are very different indeed- we always stay right within the lines. Funny how you can apply this analogy to how the cultures work too! There isn’t a lot of personal space with the Italians, and the Germans are often hold people at a safe distance.
Still, even for the road-savvy Italian there are rules to follow, even if they are a little more flexible than they might be here. Those little lines in the road are necessary for people, or else we would be driving all over the place, crashing into each other, causing mayhem and destruction. You will never catch an Italian driver driving on the wrong side of the road on purpose because he doesn’t want to wreck his car!
Boundaries are necessary in our lives too, so that we don’t end up “wrecking” our life. Yet boundaries are so difficult to establish and maintain, and once you start to compromise your personal boundaries, they are hard to put back up.
What do I mean by “boundaries”? Boundaries are the personal rules that we establish so that people don’t walk all over us- that people don’t take advantage of us- consequently we maintain our own personal dignity- in order that we might maintain not only our identity, but our sanity as well.
Have you ever met someone who tries to please everyone? That is a person without boundaries. They will be a different person depending on who is in the room, because they feel that they need the validation of the person who they are with. They may even compromise their dignity or integrity to please someone else. I imagine that this is not only tiring, but confusing as well.
Sometimes the boundaries we set are easy, and some are difficult. If I have an unhealthy person in my life, I might have to tell them not to call, or tell them I can’t see them. If I have an unhealthy habit, like eating too much, I might have to put a boundary on myself to not open the refrigerator after 6:00 PM. Boundaries come in all shapes and sizes.
If my boundary involves another person, there is something important to remember. When we establish a boundary with someone (for example, I will only talk to so-and-so at the office about work), it is OUR responsibility to maintain that boundary, not theirs. I can communicate that boundary to my co-worker, boss, friend or family, but it is not their responsibility to maintain a boundary I have established, it is my responsibility to do whatever it takes. If they don’t want to respect our boundary, then maybe it is time to look at how good the relationship is for everyone involved.
It is sort of like a privacy fence at a house. If I put one up, thus putting up a boundary on my property, it is not my neighbor’s job to maintain that fence; it is mine. Likewise, if the boundary regards personal relationships, habits, or even ethical situations in a job, it is not anyone’s responsibility to maintain the boundaries that I have established except for me.
Establishing boundaries, the establishment of a set of norms and rules that guide my life, is really a sign of self-respect and loving oneself in a proper way. It helps us to have integrity in our lives in any given situation, and prevent those “wrecks” that might happen on the road of life if we go outside the lines.
