This Article was Published in the Marion Star January 20th 2009
It seems that there are as many self-help books as there are people, all of them telling us how to live a happy prosperous life. For just $24.95 you can attain riches, fame and fortune, not to mention the happiness that we have all sought after.
I am not saying also there isn’t a lot of good stuff out there to read. Genuine people looking to help other people live out the potential that they have in this life, and to inspire. The problem is, or course, sorting out the bad from the good.
I have met, and am friends with, spiritual people, motivational speakers, and people who have overcome the odds of sickness, poverty, oppression, and abuse. I try to meet as many people like this as I can, because I want to be inspired and likewise inspire people. There are some common things that I have found inspirational people say or – even more importantly – live in their lives. I call them, “The Four Phrases.”
Maybe these folks don’t “say” the “Four Phrases,” but the reason that they are who they are is that they live them. Their actions speak volumes louder than their words.
These are the most important things you can say or do in your life. If you say these to someone every day – even better, if you LIVE them every day – I think you will find your relationships getting better, your attitude will change, and the happiness that we so vainly pursue will simply and easily ensue.
What are the four phrases?
I’m Sorry…
I Forgive you…
I Thank you…
I Love you…
Simple phrases, really. Sometimes though, they are the hardest things that we have to say in our lives, and often, they are even harder to live them out!
Who do we say these things to? Anyone. We say them to our spouses, our children, our colleagues, our families, to God, and even, and here is the kicker, to ourselves. That’s right, ourselves.
Sometimes we have to say that we are sorry for not treating ourselves with dignity.
Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes.
Sometimes we need to say thank-you, and acknowledge the value of our lives, and the good we have done for ourselves and others.
Sometimes we need to change the direction of our lives and do loving things for ourselves.
When I have met inspirational people, all of them have these core principles at the heart of everything that they say and do. That is because these phrases – this philosophy – is essential to mend broken relationships, to find, acknowledge, and appreciate the good in someone’s life, and to choose to do things that will help people to be the best that they can be.
Inspirational people know that they are not done growing yet, and still make mistakes. So they say they are sorry.
They understand that forgiveness is something essential so that they do not harbor and carry resentments.
They understand that a simple spirit of gratitude can help someone to realize the value that they cannot see in themselves.
They know that by even the smallest loving action, they can change the world.
What is happiness? People think it is riches. It isn’t. I know plenty of sad people with gobs of money . Some people say it is fame, I imagine that famous people feel more isolated then regular folks who can go to the grocery store whenever they want. How about power? If you like stress, go for it!
Perhaps it would be presumptuous of me to define happiness, but what the heck, I’ll try anyway! Happiness comes from being in good life-giving relationships with other people, and preserving our own innate dignity. It means being a little better at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day, even if we just grow half an inch. It means being the best that we can be today, helping others to do the same, and forgiving ourselves and others, when we fall short.
