September 30, 2009
May 15, 2009
Fr. Alberto Cutie
In recent news, we have heard of the public scandal of a very famous Priest, Fr. Alberto Cutie. Fr. Cutie has touched the lives of millions of people, particularly in the Latin world, and has helped them to follow Christ more closely. In recent days however we have learned of his own personal struggle with his promise of celibacy, and with chastity, as picture of him with a female companion on a beach in Miami have surface. Fr. Albert made public news with these photos, shocking some, and not surprising others who think celibacy is an archaic and unhealthy lifestyle.
I thought I would put my two cents in.
Celibacy is tough.
It is.
So is marriage though! Life is tough! Sexuality is a tough thing to deal with no matter who you are. If it is something that you don’t struggle with, check your back for wings because you aren’t human. Take it from someone who has been hearing confessions for 5 years, a lot of people struggle with their sexuality, both interiorly and exteriorly. Heck, take it from someone who IS human and struggles with integrating and living a healthy human sexuality. Just because a man makes a commitment to celibacy doesn’t make him weird or superhuman, nor does it take away this struggle with human sexuality in a fallen world.
The truth is though, that while human sexuality, as well as a variety of other things in this world, were damaged by sin, we are given a lot of grace to cope, and to restore us to the freedom with which we are designed.
So how about this Father Cutie? I saw him last week on Good Morning America, sitting talking to the anchorwoman, dressed in a simple white shirt, and jacket, not in his collar. He talked about three things- how he has struggled with celibacy, how he made some stupid mistakes in regards to his association (in public) with this woman, and how he loved her. He talked about how he is considering leaving the priesthood and the church for her, and how despite this, he is not the “anti-celibacy” priest, nor does he want to become this.
A priest in love with a woman?! I am sure that has never happened before. Probably never in the history of the Catholic church. At this point I think it would be wise to make a distinction between LUV and LOVE.
LUV is the feeling- the butterflies- the attaction- the excitement. LUV is the stuff that sonnets and “Love” songs are written about. I would guess everyone has felt it for someone or something at some point in their life. LUV is a good thing- it is why people get married- it is why men become priests- it is why people have kids.
In our language, we only have one word for the various types of “Love.” In Greek there are at least 3 words for love! So English is a little deficient when it comes to understanding the concepts. I recommend reading “The Four Loves” by CS Lewis for further distinction of the different types of love.
So it is a sin that Fr. Cutie fell in LUV? Nope… not at all. In fact I can say with all my heart, that I wouldn’t want a priest that was incapable of falling in LUV. That priest would be inhuman. I believe Jesus fell in LUV- we hear him saying that his heart “ached” for the people, as he saw them like sheep without a shepherd. And how often in the Old Testament does God’s relationship with his people imitate what LUV seems to be.
I have fallen in LUV myself a few times. I fell in LUV with the church, with Jesus and his people. I have felt feelings of LUV, in my past before I was a priest, for women (which I am really glad about since I know what that is like). LUV is fun and exciting, and it hurts sometimes, and it is hard to control at times, and can overwhelm us if we let it, as it had Fr. Cutie. LUV is a great thing- probably none of us would be here if it wasn’t for a little LUV.
Married people fall in LUV, fall out of it, fall back into it with each other. LUV, like other “feelings” comes and goes. Sometimes married people fall in LUV with people who aren’t their spouses, and sometimes priests fall in LUV with women. It happens. LUV is part of the human condition. The inability to control ourselves when we are in LUV comes from our damaged human nature.
We are not called to LUV though. A lot of people think that this is the end all be all- that it is what will fulfill us. Like anything that is pleasant, and like any good feeling, LUV can be fleeting. LUV can cause pain sometimes as our hearts ache for the person we are in LUV with. LUV, as I mentioned, comes and goes.
We are called to a more noble purpose though we are called to LOVE. It is easy to LOVE when we are in LUV, and sometimes it is hard to LOVE when we are in LUV. LOVE however is a choice of pursuing the good in every situation- the good for ourselves, the good for other people, and what is good pursuant to the glory of God. ”GOOD” here does not mean what feels good necessarily, but what is best. Sort of like the candy bar and the apple- the candy bar tastes “good,” but the apple is what is “good” for us.
LOVE is always a rational thing- it is how we are made in the image and likeness of God Himself, as we can love as he does in a self giving way that always pursues the good of any situation. LOVE is the cross. Sometimes it is really hard and we want the “cup to pass from us,” but LOVE always says “Your will not mine be done.”
So Fr. Cutie fell in LUV. It happens. He did not, however, LOVE this woman, nor himself, nor the millions of people he ministered to. He sinned. Sin is the failure to LOVE. Simple as that. We all sin. We all fail to LOVE. God forgives us anyway.
So Fr. Cutie should be forgiven. But he is, in that forgiveness, called to LOVE again. He should LOVE this woman. He should LOVE himself. He should LOVE God and His people. He should from this point on, attempt again to do what is in the “Highest GOOD” for all involved.
He could leave for this woman- and some would think it to be an act of nobility- a cute Disney type “LUV” story where the man pursues his princess and they live happily ever after. AWWW… if he does that it probably won’t end in an “Happily Ever After” situation. In fact just the opposite will probably happen.
I “left” the priesthood once- in July of 2007. Now you can never really leave the priesthood, as a man is a priest forever, so I put “left” in quotation marks, because I left active ministry. Hardest decision I ever made in my life. I didn’t leave because of a woman (although there was probably plenty of opportunity) but out of anxiety and depression. Still I left, not knowing if I was going to come back.
Here is what I discovered: You can leave the priesthood, but it never leaves you.
There is a part of my heart, and the heart of every priest, that he will never get back. It eternally belongs to God, to the priesthood of Jesus Christ in a special and particular way. In my year out of active ministry I met a lot of priests who had left- at least 6 (funny huh?!) and none of them seemed too happy. Some said that while they loved their wives and children, and had been laicized, attendance at Mass wasn’t the same, and there was something “missing” from their lives. One man, who had been out for 35 years, married with children and grandchildren, came up to me and introduced himself as a priest. It never leaves you.
In fact, one priest told me that the only way to successfully leave the priesthood is to become an atheist. I think he is right. Who wants that? Talk about hopeless.
So Fr. Cutie can leave if he wants in the name of LUV, but I think it isn’t the LOVING thing to do, for the reasons I outlined in the above paragraphs. As much as he LUVs this woman, she will never have his whole heart. Never. He will always be a priest, not only in being, but in his heart. She will never have all of him. He will never be able to give it to her, and I imagine that can lead to all sorts of resentments and difficulties. As I read in one book, the man who leaves the priesthood trades in one set of problems for a whole new batch of them. Tougher problems. He trades in problems and struggles with celibacy for regret, on top of the natural struggles that come with marriage.
So here is what I say- if he truly LOVEs this woman, and himself for that matter- he will stay in active ministry. He should do it for her. He should stay to spare her the resentment he is almost sure to form in some way against her, or at least against himself for leaving. How can you possibly LOVE someone if you resent yourself? (Read the First Letter of John for more information on how that doesn’t work) He should say thank you to her, and let her go, and she should do the same for him. Sometimes if we LOVE someone, we say goodbye to them. Jesus himself would have liked to have stayed with the Apostles, but He knew that if He didn’t go, the Advocate would not come. He did the LOVING thing.
That is embracing the cross- that is doing what is difficult for the greater good of a situation. That is what the Bishop told him on his, and my, and all, of our ordination days- “Know what you do, imitate what you celebrate, and conform your life to the mystery of the Lord’s cross.”
It stinks for Fr. Cutie. It probably hurts a lot. I imagine that married people who fall in LUV with other people feel the same pain and struggle. But we are called to LOVE not LUV. We are called to do what is best and right for others, ourselves, and to the glory of God despite how heavy that cross may seem. I pray for Fr. Cutie to make the LOVING decision for his female friend, for himself, and his people.
God always offers us the grace to LOVE, and to take up our crosses and to follow him…
Fr. Joshua Wagner
April 21, 2009
Some Scriptural Clarifications.
Matthew 6:5-8
When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.
So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him
I don’t understand how the Catholic church can ignore those verses, and have made the Our Father prayer into one of the most repeated prayers in history?
And,
Eph. 2:8,9
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Why do the Catholic church believe that you have to work your way to God, when it is all over the New Testament that we are unable to get to God by our own power?
I answer that:
Well, it is pretty obvious these questions weren’t asked by a Catholic, and the tone seems to be less than charitable, but I will answer them because they are interesting questions.
First, on the issue of “Meaningless repitition,” specifically of the Our Father I would have to say that the key word there is “meaningless.” Jesus doesn’t want us to drone on and on in our prayers without meaning. Prayer is not something to be done mechanically (although sometimes mechanically is a good place for someone new at prayer to start.) Rather, Jesus wants to us to pray to God with our body mind and spirit. Therefore it is possible to repeat prayers in a meaningful way. Repeated prayer is a good way to focus and concentrate, to movie your mind and spirit to a greater focus on God. Repetition should be a gateway into more profound prayer and meditation and communion with God. Frankly repeated prayers can be very comforting because they are familiar.
I remember once in a nursing home, visiting a woman in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. She was happy when we came into the room, but the only way she could pray was the prayer of reptition- the Our Father’s and the Hail Mary’s, and it became clear that this brought her great comfort. I don’t think we can possibily say that this is meaningless prayer whatsoever.
Of course the danger with repeated prayers is that they can become rote and meaningless. We have to be careful of that of course, so when people come into the confessional I will often have them write out the Our Father as a Penance, so that they can think about the words. I think Jesus’ warning to us in scripture is two-fold, first to not make prayer a show (that is to show how holy I might be) and second that prayer must be more than mere repetition- that it must take root.
The Our Father is the most repeated prayer in History I would imagine, except for maybe the Hail Mary (which is also a quotation of scripture by the way.) But it is a prayer full of depth and meaning which can only TRULY be understood by going over it again and again and again, which the church has for 2 centuries.
There is a related danger to this by the way. That is the MEANINGLESS quotation of scripture. People do it all the time. Why, just recently I had someone quote scripture to me without really knowing the meaning. A lot of people do it, Catholics and non-Catholics alike. It is inappropriate to just pick a few verse out which support your particular position and then quote the heck out of them. That is far worse than repeating the Our Father because it is a corruption of the meaning of scripture.
All scripture must be deeply reflected on, and considered in the context of the entire tradition and teaching of Jesus, which the church passes down to us today, and has faithfully for 2000 years. Otherwise scripture can be used to support whatever you want! I could take scripture out of context and support homosexuality, or abortion, or whatever you like if I take it out of context. This is why the Sacred Tradition AND the Magisterium, the teaching office of the church (priests and Bishops) are necessary for the right ordered interpretation of scripture.
Nothing is more dangerous than the meaningless repetition of scripture.
As for the second question, no body is going to argue that we earn our way into heaven. I certainly know we can’t do that. The Church has always claimed that it is only by the grace of Jesus through his death on the cross that we are saved. St. Paul says it, Jesus says it, the Magisterium have said it, the Doctor’s of the church and the saints have said it.
So we are saved by GRACE, of which Faith is a grace. But if you read Matthew Chapter 25 or the Epistle of James, or heck even John’s gospel (John 13 and following) (Specifically the part about washing the feet) you will see that faith in not an end in itself but always moves us toward Love. Love is a choice- it is an action- it is something we do not something we feel. It is always DOING what is right for other people, for ourselves, and to the Glory of God. Love is what Jesus does on the cross. So if we have been saved in Jesus, it is going to make us ACT with love- to wash the feet of our neighbor, to do good “works.”
Therefore we can safely say that Love (and here we can include ”works” under the category of Love) is a result of salvation, not the cause of it. If I am saved, I am going to act the way that Jesus did.
It is love that fulfills our nature being in the image and likeness of God. Jesus said, “they will know you are my disciples by the way that you love,” and “a tree is known by its fruit.”
FJW
April 17, 2009
A brief question about God’s Grace.
Off the top of my head I can’t think of any. In fact the opposite is true… God offers grace and people refuse it. The best example is Judas… Jesus calls him “friend” when Judas betrays him in the garden. It is my opinion that both Judas and Peter betrayed Christ, but Peter accepted Jesus’ friendship again (Last chapter of John’s Gospel) and Judas didn’t. In both cases Jesus uses the word “friend”
March 17, 2009
Indulgences are “Back!”
Is there any explanation for indulgences? The following is a forwarded
message from my brother. Is this another one of the many mistakes the
of the Church that we all thought was a part of its past, or is there
really something to it?
I don’t intend to actually “Stump the Priest,” but I unfortunately
feel pretty confident on this one. However, I’m definitely rooting for
the priest here, as always.
Forwarded Message:
This is why I don’t go to church. Guess it really doesn’t matter. I
am one charitable contribution away from eternal life.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/10/nyregion/10indulgence.html?hp
My Response:
Thanks for the email! There are a lot of misconceptions about indulgences due to there somewhat dark history from the middle ages, and they never really “went away,” but when you hear what indulgences really are, it actually makes a lot of sense. The way that I define an indulgence is “the polar opposite of sin.” As sin affects the whole body of Christ in a negative way, so indulgences- the merits of Christ and the Saints- and even the good that we do, affect the church in a positive way. Below is a podcast and a video helping to explain what I mean.
Audio Response:
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Video Response:
March 6, 2009
So What is So Wrong About Living Together? (Cohabitation)
I often get questions from teens and couples that I am preparing for marriage why people shouldn’t live together before the get married. Shouldn’t they try before they buy? Isn’t it economically more sensible to live together since it is cheaper? Does God really care?
Actually, I think aside from the moral issue, living together before marriage tends to ruin everything. Here is my audio response answer to that question:
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February 25, 2009
Body/Mind/Spirit Connection
How are the body mind and Spirit connected, especially when Jesus heals sins, people tend to also recover physically?
I think the key to the whole body healing/spiritual healing happens throughout the gospel as the forgiveness of sins often result in the healing of the body. I have seen that in my own ministry here- as people confess their sins- stuff they often carry around with them for years and years, the first thing I see are physical changes. Their voice changes… the sit up straight (if they aren’t behind the screen) and their whole affect changes. . I have other stories too where the anointing of the sick seems to re-invigorate people as well. There is a mind body spirit connection that is unmistakable. It is our nature to be both body and soul… it is what we are!
Further, I would refer you to, what I believe, are two of the most important chapters in the Bible after John 6 and 17. Romans 7 and 8 talk about the whole problem of the body warring against the Spirit- how redemption happens here and now in the Spirit, and that all creation groans in labor pains even until now, awaiting the completion of redemption in the physical world. So it is possible for the body to bring down the spirit, but also, I believe, for a sinful spirit to bring down the body. It is all over the gospels as I mentioned as well.
At any rate, even the Saints in Heaven aren’t really done yet… they still have hope in the resurrection of their bodies, even though their spirits dwell with God in a profound way. Because of our nature, even they aren’t “finished” until they fully participate in the resurrection from the dead. Resurrection of the body, our bodies, is not something we talk about in our modern culture for some reason. I have some theories as to why.
February 18, 2009
“On the Third Day He Rose ‘Again’”
Here is the Latin Version of this part of the Nicene-Constantinople Creed:
- et resurréxit tértia die, secúndum Scriptúras,
- et ascéndit in cælum, sedet ad déxteram Patris
Translated literally, it is:
“He resurrected on the third day, according to the Scriptures, and He ascended into Heaven, he sits at the right (hand) to the Father.”
So the literal version of the Latin doesn’t contain words like “again” or “hand” (although to the right of the Father implies at the right hand) which is why you won’t find the catechism, or anyone else for that matter addressing the issue of rising “again.” It is inserted into the English probably to keep a cadence, and to put emphasis that he came back to life.
In English, “again” is sometimes a throw away word used to show this sort of emphasis- for instance, I can say that my brother took a trip and came back again. I don’t really need the “again” there, as the sentence would make sense without it. Perhaps my brother never took a trip before, but he still went and came back “again.” So the fact that Jesus died and rose “again” simply means to put an emphasis on the fact that he died and rose- it is something that enriches the English translation, because it is the way that we speak English.
Hope this helps!
February 10, 2009
Did Jesus know that he was Gods son before he was in Marys womb, when he was born, if not how did he find out?
Did Jesus know that he was Gods son while he was in Marys womb, when he was born, if not how did he find out?
If People are Called To Marriage, Why are So Many Failing?
I was speaking with our Junior High Parish School of Religion the other day, and a very astute young woman asked me a great question which I though I would post on Stump the Priest. I recorded the answer.
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